Try to care less

I know I know this is the exact opposite of what you as a nurse are wired to do. We care for others for a living. But oftentimes it is at the detriment of caring for ourselves. I read a quote from my journal the other day that said

"the less fucks I gave the more it changed my life".

Welp, sometimes its either them or you - who are you siding with ? There has to be a limit, there has to be a boundary, there has to be a line drawn and I implore you to find it friends. Release the overwhelming urge to save everyone except yourself. I recently was confronted with a medical concern. It literally stopped me in my tracks and for a second I had the same racing thoughts, of the ones of my patients.

- Should I get this checked out ?

- How much will this medical service cost ?

- Is this just in my head ?

- Can I just wait and see (read: ignore it) and it will go away ?

- Should I take off work ?

Our problem is that we are just way too loyal, almost loyal to a fault. I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility to my team, and honestly in my managerial role I know now that everything is figure-outable. There is aways a Plan A, Plan B, and a Plan COVID - 19. If I am not able to come in, there will be a substitute for me. Can the substitute do what I can do yes, as good as I can do it - no. But that's not of my concern - release that care.

Try to care less friends

As described by Peplau in Nurse-patient relationships, there is an orientation phase and we eventually work towards the termination phase. Although the relationship may terminate there sometimes are lingering thoughts, or impression left on the nurse that ultimately gives us perspective. However we have to be careful of how we use that energy to refuel our compassion, and not allow it to turn into burnout- release that care too.

So how can we covert that energy ? How do we convert the energy and at the same time protect our own?

When I first started developing the makings of my E-Book "Learn What Nursing school left out" , I was feeling very unprepared for this Nurse life. I was thinking did I miss a course ? Was I asleep in class that day ? I invested way too much to just give it up so I worked hard to make sure my license worked just as hard for me.

I poured my all into nursing and felt like I was depleted, or as most say "pouring from an empty cup". But I was doing something wrong, because this didn't just happen once but over an over again. I definitely first experienced burn out in Nursing school. I had been working part -time, Nursing school full time, and new mom (pregnant). At that time I was thinking well this will change when I become a nurse. I was thinking it's this hard because I am in an accelerated program, so hence my life is accelerated as well. But surely life will calm down after this.

I was wrong and naive. I made no adjustments on my part but just assumed the universe would shift for me.

News flash there is no one going to look out for you except you.

Then I started my nursing career 8 weeks postpartum on a busy step down floor. I cared a lot about my patients, I cared a lot about showing up for my team, I cared a lot about learning from all the new experiences. I learned how to care for others but the reality is I did not know how to care for me. I know that sounds crazy, especially in the era of Self care you would think this came naturally to those who are in the "caring business".

So now Im caring less

That doesn't meaning I'm giving less care to my patients, but I am keeping myself in the equation. I am leaving something in the tank for me to drive home on, and for me to give to my family when I get there. I'm learning it doesn't make me a bad nurse to care for me the same way I care for others, or even more so.

Take care Nurse friends + Try to care a little less (just try it)

Nurse Megs