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Defining Freedom in Leadership
When I think back to leading through the pandemic in healthcare, the hardest part wasn't the long hours or the impossible decisions. It was feeling stuck.
That sounds strange to say out loud, because on paper I had a stable job.
But there were things happening in my personal life at the same time, and I remember realizing: if I needed to walk away from that position, I couldn't. I needed the job. I needed the paycheck. And leading through a pandemic was already one of the hardest things I've ever done — but what made it heavier was knowing I didn't have an out, even if I wanted one.
That's when I started asking myself what freedom actually meant to me. Not the version of freedom people talk about online. My version.
Fast forward. I left that position to work for the federal government. And then I was RIF'd — laid off during my probationary period, in the wave of federal cuts that a lot of people are still feeling the ripple effects of. It was sudden. It was disorienting. But I had a backup plan, and that backup plan was the same thing it's always been: my nursing license.
My nursing degree is the most flexible degree I will ever hold. My license is the most flexible credential I will ever have. No matter what happens in one job, one organization, or one political climate, that license travels with me.
Today, I'm still working as a leader, now with a different organization. And freedom looks different than it did during the pandemic. Today, freedom looks like:
Being able to take off when I actually need to
Picking my kid up from school on a random half day
Getting my kids to basketball and soccer without a scramble
Two remote days a week — but also knowing that if my team needs me in person, I can just go in
Being able to text my husband, "Are you picking him up? I don't think I can — can you drop off, I'll do practice pickup and dinner"
It's not glamorous. It's logistics. But it's my logistics, and I get to call the shots.
So here's what I'd say to any nurse leader scrolling and feeling behind: don't get caught up in the online conversation about what freedom is supposed to look like. It's not always financial freedom. It's not always a 9-to-5 you can quit. It's not always making more money or building the big empire. Freedom just needs to make sense for you and what you need out of your career — because your career is part of your life. It's not your whole life.
I started today grateful. Grateful that I could take a deep breath. Grateful that I could recognize the blessings already in front of me, instead of fixating on what I don't have yet, what hasn't happened yet, or what simply wasn't meant for me.
That's freedom in leadership. Not an escape hatch. A life that actually fits.
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